“STRAINING to what lies ahead, I press on….” The forgetting about the past part is in progress…Alone or not I MUST PRESS ON.
HE is there…here…somewhere. I’ll rest in that.
Laid out on the floor covered in tears….asking for deliverance…asking for freedom…yelling out for someone to notice…someone to care…someone to simply lay next to her and hear her….all of this drowned out by prayers below her…all oblivious to the battle going on right above them.
Doesn’t anybody hear her????
I heard HIM today. It was in the distance but I heard HIM! I’m holding on to that subtle still small voice in the distance. HE desires me…
I haven’t felt this way in a while. I just in need of everything to STOP. I would love nothing more than a beach house alone with me and maybe my dog. I need HIM more than ever and find myself struggling to be near HIM. I feel so far. Far from everything. Everyone. I’ve done this to myself I know. I’m just…just JUST. This weekend I will be in hiding. I’m gonna find HIM and drown out the noise. I need HIM. Life is empty and meaningless without HIM near. It’s only been weeks but feels like years. I don’t know what else to say but I miss HIM. Intimacy with HIM. I despise everything right now in my life because I feel the business of life is what took HIM from me. So I like nothing in it. Sounds harsh and intense but that’s what I feel. No mask. No covering it up. I’m not strong and I cannot do it all. I say it again…I NEED MY SAVIOR.
I feel like this is my life as of now….WAITING…that’s what this season is all about. It’s tough and frustrating,yet there is so much I can do with my time than just sitting and waiting for the bar to be filled.
Maximize this season, My. HE has you.
It’s beginning to hit me, all the changes going on around me. When you have held in all these dreams within and you see them coming to flourish in other peoples lives…..it’s rough. I’m guessing it’s a season of being humbled and selfless that I am in. Time to create fresh new dreams that will be my own. Until then I’ma try to give my heart celebrating others seasons…
I shall respect the season HE has me in and hold on to ALL HE has given me. It’s a stretching season no doubt! Here Lord…I give myself away!!!!!
“It’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be wild, it’s gonna be filled with ME.” ~GOD
And that’s all that matters. The steps to get there and the details don’t matter. As long as its filled with HIM.
You and me God, let’s go, I AM YOURS.
It’s simple yet such a complex move to make. HE says do it and you say yes. You don’t need to know the whys or the answers to all the questions asked, HE knows and that’s all the knowledge needed.
Trust and act.
I AM NOTHING WITHOUT HIM. Period blank. I can’t rely on my own gifting and abilities and expect HIM to move without me relying completely on HIM.
I am on an humbling rocky road to becoming less selfish and much more selfless. This world is not revolving around me.
It’s time to live out John 3:30
I am truly beginning to realize the reason for my season! I am becoming to love the fact that I am single. I look around me at people in relationships and see all the time it consumes them of and realize, I’m not ready for that just yet. God knew. It amazes me how He always does. This season I was made to serve. Serve with all that I have and that wouldn’t be possible with a divided heart. I am excited that I am finally truly and fully accepting this season!
I WILL gain and maximize every bit out of it while it last!
I WILL allow myself to be a willing vessel to HIM as He sees fit!
I WILL be set apart!
I WILL get lost in what He throws my way!
I WILL love others without apology!
I WILL love HIM with ALL my heart!
This season I WILL be completely HIS!
